the worst shit i ever had was when i was attending summer activities during summer school holidays, we had to run a race, so a little bit of context there used to be this kid who i was friendly with but he was a massive sperg, used to let rip the worst farts imaginable and was notorious for it all the way through school, used to sit next to me in chemistry and let them rip and then blame the bunsen burner for the smell but the whole class would be vented by his farts and we all knew it was him as we retched, so yeah i was running this race and while i was running i was going past him and i needed to fart so i thought okay i will try and fart in his direction, i proceed to fart it was silent but deadly but i unwittingly shat myself, luckily he didn't notice that i tried to fart let alone shat myself but by this point panic had set in, so i continue the race although i have slowed to a jog, i head to the organizing staff lady of the summer activities and i tell her i feel really unwell and to call my mom while sat on the edge of a plastic chair in soiled underwear. my mom arrived to pick me up, i tell her what happened, she laughed, i get home and go straight upstairs for a shower, pants off and they are absolutely caked in shit.

i will never forget the day i shat myself, it will live on forever in my mind as one of the funniest most unfortunate days of my life.

>>307
pic related the kid looked like an irl jughead

I grew up in the suburbs a couple miles away from a shopping center, so I rarely got out of the house before I could drive on my own. I'd have friends over throughout school and they'd have to get picked up and dropped off. In high school on the weekends, I'd have friends over on weekend fairly often. My school was in the city which wasn't too far away and my dad's work was on the way.

I went to a private non co-ed school, and at the time there weren't a lot of black kids, but I was friends with most of them in my grade (2 or 3). One time my friend I'll call him SAVAGE NEGRO BEAST Jim comes over and we head up to the shopping mall on foot with my younger brother riding a bike. It's kind of a big road but there's really no sidewalks. Now, we get up there and it's late morning. We probably had a little money my parents gave us, and after what was likely at most 45 minutes or so, we start to head back. By the time I'm a quarter mile down the road back home or so, I start to have to shit real bad. I mention to my brother I have to shit really badly and that I'd like to borrow his bike. My siblings are fucking SAVAGE NEGRO BEASTs who became drug addicts later on so go figure but he doesn't care at all and declines to allow me to use his bike so I can use it to head home.

Fuck that of course -- I throw him off the bike and cycle off. While I'm riding home the shit is starkly getting heavier and more pressing in its insistence and urgency to pass. I grew up on top of a pretty large hill that you couldn't even sled down in winter when it iced over in the late 80's when my parents first moved in, apparently. It's pretty big.

I was peddaling up and at some point it's too much for me to exert that extra effort into surmounting the grade of the hill, so at almost the end of the two miles I'm guiding the bike up the hill and footing it as fast as I can manage to go without everything coming undone within my pants.

I remember finally making it the 600 feet or something to my house after I'd reached the entrance of the subdivision. My parents were away and SAVAGE NEGRO BEAST Jim stayed home as he was sleeping when we decided to go to the strip mall. I knocked on the door and rang the door bell as much as I could before heading to the backyard and checking to see if the basement door was unlocked. Jim found me drive byging on the sliding glass door with shit on my hands that was from me collecting it from the inside of my pant sleeves and placing it into the lawn like a shameful, shameful dog.

I still remember him laughing remarking the incredulous nature of how a person gets shit on their fucking hands upon finding they've shit their pants.